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How can you make sure you you will never be a chair and (idea / jokes)

“The first rule of leadership: everything is your fault.”

Incl Bug life

Congratulations! He has been elected or appointed or returned as the Chairperson of the Department, all man has said that the hard work of all campus. Perhaps that is what drags you – enjoy working days, nights and weekends on thorns that are often empty, inspiration or intelligence. Perhaps you dreamed of getting a positive impact on a new intelligence or sustaining respect and resources of your department from high management.

If you have spent more than a month at work, your great idea of ​​the admiration and maybe even the Faculty Deliverer, workers and students who are shocked to the Boast of Who today? “Fact. Program B. We provide the list of proven strategies to ensure that you will never be asked to serve as a seat.

Tip # 1: Spend a mass of your time in techniques.

Strategic strategies are the most important function you will do as a seat; We all know that these documents are always mentioned. I have a laminated cards that I submit my donors and often read often during coffee break.

When you write these texts, create “words” – higher pseudo-tenderness is better. An unemployment consistent in such terms as “Reformation,” “Equity” will strengthen the document. George Orwell’s writing laws through a long name where the short term will make and be used by Jargon in place every day when the money stream is used to improve office furniture. “)

Subcommitees forms to do this work and ensure that they meet summer – especially if your intelligence is appointed for nine months. Proper members of these texts from the beginning. Do not waste time for the previous kinds or write a system that can be as the first place.

Tell Subcommittees Happy to meet them when they need your input. Then refuse all the invitation to do so. If they guess what you want as the final product will create a fun discussion and allow them to integrate your findings.

Tip # 2: Having clever pests in hell.

Use intelligent meetings as an opportunity to read happy updates that can easily be emailed. Or, better, send each of these individuals and read them aloud at technical meetings. Remember that your intelligence is busy with their research, teaching and ministry.

When critical issues are in the agenda, make your Crystal position clearly and press the height of any strategy before you want to vote. Then answer the questions from the skills depending on the way where they have worked harder. Soon ingenuity will learn that meetings are except well without disturbance from other ideas or a lovely argument.

Finally, it is a public vote in these decisions by simply raising your hands. Pre-employment ability will feel comfortable as full professions in their voters. Similar levels of luxury will sound those unique races / races, backgrounds and customs. If as a Susotist feels like a decision is correct, so they will do.

Tip # 3: Avoid meeting faculty to update their research trajectory.

Annual Report from each member of refusal will provide more detailed information, to save time from each other of your person. Pre-Tenure technology from many directions, various to get money, or give benefits after the first rejection, should deal with the relevant results. We all suffered at the time, and therefore should.

In that air, prevent planning and support groups of education. Or, if you have already assigned a new tactor to the advisor, think that the couple regularly meets. The new ability will always feel free to get busy, uptime counselors whenever they have questions.

Tip # 4: Be a specialist in everything.

The departments are complex and recording organizations including the management of the area including money / budget, resources, student support, etc. Wearing as many hats as possible and be a professional in all these topics. Do not give to employees, directors of graduate programs or associated seats.

Tip # 5: Assign as much as the service as possible.

FAGBIGN members always try to get away from minor work – so, making one appropriate size – all the rule of providing and sticking with. In this spirit, confusion “with equity” and cut any reference to diversity, equality and insertion as social justice, “You Know, Deiz, Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Don’t count to guide some skills as service. In fact, do not place useful, impacting or new service in case of one of your official committees. If it was actually a wise idea, you’d already thought about it.

When cultivation asks for break to a big committee to focus on a bigger study or to improve the new course, you remind them that while you are a business manager while teaching the Daily Yoga’s classes in Emeritus.

Tip # 6: Be the messenger of Dean.

You, as chairman, is actually actually a Dean oral Spath and high management. Therefore, focus on the hills of your time in higher programs. Do not allow your intelligence to see what they need due to their growth and their success. And, if instead he takes the eruption of the Department’s plan, make sure you put Dean advice on all the steps you take. Take care of a number of work-producing professionals who have similarly taught the same course for 15 years and end up receiving a large study fee before 2000.

Finally, encourage the intelligence of Dean and other high management members. Then punish us with sorrow for any single communication with you.

Tip # 7: Become Intestid Decisions Manufacturer.

When a decision from the chair is called, do not ask for thoughts from your expertise. It looks stronger if you make your own decision. Similarly, when members of the ability ask you things, “No” in all applications for showing power and decides. Or, say “Yes” on Random “Hallway ask” instead of thinking that, if a tactile member is necessary, so, may not be.

Always reminded your intelligence is that “driven by data” and wants any application, or any application, even if we have a full-time analysis, a variety of refunds in investment. Then make a decision according to a good or bad condition and that unity is from one of your favorites “

Tip # 8: Quick reply to student complaints with faculty.

When you get a complaint about a student’s intelligence member, take action against that intelligence member immediately. Remember that students have a full goal; There can be no other side in the story. Allow Associate Dean to hold objects with direct intelligence – or better, Dean. Ignore the rules of the city’s department that intelligence has worked hard to improve. A decisive action is better than adhering to the guidance. Do not fulfill your role as a member of a member of the intelligence, certainly no one has their best disease.

Tip # 9: Let everyone know how much we are and how important it is.

He says such as, “I remember myself as a member of wisdom; it was far easier than the seat.” Or, better, “the previous chair makes a mistake; back to my old school, we did it better.”

Always refer to Dean, Provil and President in their first names. Then, if your beings do the same, tell them that they do not respect.

Tip # 10: Don’t have life and place your research.

It is crazy to think that you can keep your lab going. Instead, use a pile of your time to respond to emails. You will feel proud of your entry when replying quickly to the latest applications from high performance. Do not issue a dedication “to meet the chairs of the chair,” or the dedicated time of development. You will easily choose when you leave with your research after your seat-hood!

Finally, and most importantly, though you will never be asked to serve as chairman, you will be very eligible for Dean. Be prepared now to postpone violence with open positions!

Delivering yourself: Any similar seats, currently or previous, is accidentally. No seats are damaged in this product.

Lisa Chasan-Taker, SC.D., is a Professor and former Biostatistics Department chairperson and Epidemiology at the University of Massachusetts amherst.

Barry Braun, Ph.D., is a professor and head of the Department of Health and the Giving Science in Colorado State State University.


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