The list of what not to say as parents seems to be getting longer—first we were told not to say “good job,” then we said “be careful” and we were done. [For the record, I don’t think there is anything wrong with “good job” or “be careful”— except that these phrases are perhaps not specific enough to communicate most efficiently with your children.] Now the phrase “hurry up” has been successfully cancelled.
The latest “hurry up” controversy seems to stem from a post that went viral on Instagram saying #1 cause of anxiety in children is that parents rush them. But almost any parent has young children who go to school or participate in reality anywhere the work that happens at some point has probably tried to rush or hurry their child out the door. So is this a real concern or just another way to make parents feel guilty for normal behavior?
Because I’m not one to allow parental defamation to happen without challenging the source of the claims, I asked the psychiatrist who made these bold statements if he could send me a link to the study he was talking about. You sent me this article, which says that rapid childhood syndrome leads to depression and anxiety but it does not cite any real research but only cites other articles about rapid childhood disease which are also not based on any real research. Furthermore, the rapid childhood syndrome, as defined in this article, seems to be a different and broader concept than simply rushing the child out the door.
What is Hurried Child Syndrome?
So where does this idea come from if it is not based on research? Psychologist Dr. David Elkins coined the term “hurried child syndrome” in his book, The Hurried Child, first published in 1981. According to Dr. Elkin, urgent childhood disease is when a child is pushed to grow up “too fast, and hurried child” means “urgent child disease.” ” such as when a child is overscheduled with extracurricular activities, pressured to achieve or expected to do things older than him. However, rapid childhood syndrome is not a formal diagnosis used by mental health professionals and appears to be a theoretical concept.
But Does “Hurry Up” Really Cause Anxiety?
So fast kid syndrome seems like a different concept than simply telling your child to “fast” from time to time, but you may wonder if running causes anxiety in children. It seems that constantly chasing after children can cause stress that leads to chronic anxiety. Well, for now no evidence that saying “hurry up” or hurrying the child causes anxiety or any negative consequences. Research suggests that anxiety disorders in children are caused by both genetic and environmental factors (translation: both environment and upbringing) and it is unlikely that one factor alone can cause an anxiety disorder. Some research has linked parental overcontrol and anxiety in children. This may look like not allowing your child to make any decisions during the preparation process, not allowing them to have any control over their schedule, or doing everything for your child. However, asking your child to speed up or hurry up does not seem to be overly controlling or distracting. Overall, the study found that parenting only accounted for 4% of the variance in child anxiety, suggesting that your parenting decisions alone are less likely to cause anxiety disorders in your children.
General Translation
We have no evidence that fast baby syndrome is a real problem for parents or that asking your child to “fast” is cause for concern. However, telling your child to “hurry up” may not be the most effective strategy because it does not teach or teach any skills. In addition, rushing can cause immediate stress for you and your baby.
