Over the course of their careers, teachers develop their vocabulary for talking about things that happen in classrooms. How many of these do you remember from your time in the classroom?
“Is there anything you would like to share with the class?”
“The bell doesn’t drive you away, I drive you away.”
“I will wait. …”
Recently on Reddit, user @BardGirl1289 asked teachers this question:
“What is your favorite sentence to tell the students when they are a few?” Not out of spite or disrespect, just a handful?”
Here are just a few of the silly, silly, and clever things teachers used to say.
(Note: Keep in mind as you read the list that each teacher has a different way of responding to different things. Mood and mood, of course. Their personality and regional expressions. That teacher’s comfort and/or ability with sarcasm. Tone
When students make demands…
“I answer a lot of questions unrelated to our content with a sigh and, ‘I don’t know, man, I work here.'”—saa2pc
“Go ask an old man.” – Chatfouz
“I’m not a DJ, I don’t take requests.” —Corinna0815
When they cry…
“‘I don’t make the rules’ and ‘that’s above my pay grade’ are things I can do when I’m annoyed by the whole school’s rule.” —Dobbys_Other_Sock
“I tell them to send a letter to the superintendent or contact their local representative.” – Hoodie08
“I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve created a QR code that links to a web page where people can request to be added to the next schedule of school board meetings and I just point to that. Actually, it was successful because I used a number of students to promote policy changes in things that were really unreasonable.” -Guerilla_Physicist
“A few years ago, my math students were really angry about a new dress code rule that banned Nike shorts. They cried about it every day. I told them to do something about it, but they shouldn’t just complain. ‘Managers love data,’ I told them. So they conducted a survey of students and adults, going to public places like shopping malls and restaurants and counting Nike shorts. (The ban was based on the idea that the shorts were disruptive to the learning environment.) The girls said that the Nike shorts were so common that no one noticed them at all and removing students from class was too disruptive. The principal was so impressed that he had the girls speak at a school board meeting. The school board agreed to add students to the dress code review committee. The following year, the revised dress code was more equitable, gender neutral, and easy to use. My students wore shorts and studied data analysis.” – tiffy68
When they approach your breaking point…
“When they go off on a tangent, I hit them with ‘Sir, this is Wendy’s.'”—TheTinRam
“Audacity must be on sale because you have so much of it.” — bud 72186
(Note: The following may need to be accompanied by a good YouTube clip for context.)
“You’re killing me, little ones!” -your grace
“When they fight: ‘Leave your siblings at home.'”—Illogical_Fallacy
“Along those lines, every once in a while, I’ll throw out ‘If you don’t practice, I swear I’ll turn this class around!’ That usually makes them shut up and laugh.” — CrankyArmadillo
“You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.” -Your Huckleberry
If you’re saying goodbye to a weekend or a long break…
“Have a great weekend. If you’re not going to be smart, be careful.” -EffectiveFilm
And finally, although we will not encourage using this dangerous, we he did found it fun:
“Don’t end life or start a new one!” – to dance
Are you ready to add one of these reviews to your repertoire? Stick to your instruction for the next week or so—your students will succeed!
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