Measure that you will return to Gaza

In his first letter from Gaza, Ablogger Amal Mustala described daily life in war. The second dispatch is closed on matters that you managed to escape above Egypt and his children. Murtaja, who taught English in Gaza in American International School, wrote this from the glutow, outside Cairo.

Since an agreement near fire fire approached, the news was a storm of conflicting reports. It was to cleanse with the hearing, especially with many of my friends and relatives in Gaza, that I left the accusation following. I didn’t want to get my hopes off. Then, in the past two days, my WhatsApp alerts were crazy. Didn’t know something happening. I turned to the TV and saw the fire stories. The Abrevance wave washed me over me, and tears followed quickly.

EMAN’s memories, my brother’s wife, and nephew, Omar and Zaid, we lost October, bothered me. Zaid would turn 5th year, and Omar 6. I symbolize my parents’ house, the final source of security and love. These pictures of what ever existed once – and now there is only the memory – filled with my mind. Any departure jose remotely heard reduced, and even these feelings.

In the past 15 months – even though they felt as years – they were a major challenge. To agree with the new environment and navigate a little different, not me, not me but Mohammed and Ali. Even now, I used to find myself seeing the window, asking, “Where?” No doubt Egypt is a good place, and humans are warm and loving, and when I feel so much, it is still a surprise to me, like a place where I live but not.

I have been trying to stabilize, develop a new process, read the streets, and know my neighbors. But the new life, which I challenge, feels about my life ago in Gaza. Nothing feels good. I keep the comparison of all my surroundings. I have in Gaza. Gaza was a small town with limited resources, yet he deposited. “People, family, friends, food, history, memories – made it a member.

The minimum Equestrian club where I have taken Mohammed and Ali every Friday, a smile on my children’s face at all times when they ride enough horse. Three-story stores and its small stores and channels are familiar with. A meal court with only 5 restaurants, where I taught Mohammed, 7 years of age, how he would act with his smile, Mr. said Mr. “Sir. They were enough. and friends of my children as they persist in their new clothes in their bed earlier, these are my best friends and when the school has also been pressured by criticizing the school system laughed until There the sides formed the bonds that really matters. Now, I do not remember to see all my friends come to Egypt. I remember them all the best; Egypt is interesting, but not “enough.” The words continued to taunt my ears, “You don’t come in.”

Life in Egypt did not kindly become us, and we have had much to do with our part. Having no place here has caused great barriers in our rehabilitation and movement. It is a blocking of basic access to opportunities and what can anyone call “life.” After a long search for the month, I eventually found a willing school to accept Mohammed and Ali without life. But because we have no proper documentation, we will not receive certificates for the end. While thankful they read, you discourage you know no legal record to show.

Despite my 12-12 years of experiences, I could not find work here, the years of dedication and love, it seems no sound in the country yet. My husband Ramadan could not start a business or. He managed to join us in April, who is truly convinced as a miracle. If only one day the border was late, he had kidnapped there. Our son, three times, clinged to Ramadan’s neck and said, “What has been so long?” And Mohammed stood in the corner of faith before he exploded, closing Ramadan, crying. Memory still brings a lot to my throat. The start from the beginning is forced to us but let me tell you – it’s unbelievable.

Even with all these challenges and obstacles, there is no way for my family and I too to return. We have lost everything – our house is completely burned, my mother’s house, my parents’ house, my husband’s place, my school has closed. We lost everything, so return is not an option to me. The echoes of the bombs still cry in my ears, a lasting world of life that we ever knew. Palestinians in Egypt did the Word by return, and some who want to return tomorrow and others, like me, lost everything and finds it impossible. I mean, we share the same desire – if we wanted to start over, we would like to do it in a safe and healthy environment and our children, especially since no other war explodes at any time. I am 35 years old, and my husband is 37 years old. I can’t risk my life in the city where everything might be, and it is lost, very lost, lost, too much lost, too much lost, and very lost, deeply lost, and very lost.

You know, pass through several wars before, but this is very cruel and very bad. There has never been out of our homes in any battles of the past, and we did not face the loss that such a matter. I certainly feel like I’m betraying my friends when I ask them in whatsapp as well. Their suffering is bothering me. I feel like I sent them a message to ask their welfare from the comforting of my home, while they refuge in a tent or a group of group, betraying. I keep telling them that I feel sorry for them, and I really do, but I know I wish they were far from this blood sheet and the fossils. All don’t do anything they will lose now, like me. None of them has their own homes, and all have lost a relative or a loved one. We lost a few friends we know and our own. They are all tired of all that happens, who are old, that they have lost their love for life. It’s like they have forgotten what happiness is. Believe it or not, the last news is as happy as you expect. Happiness is mixed with fear, sorrow, and uncertainty. They all said such things,

The conversation was long and full of sarcasm, destructive laughter in our sharp struggle. He did not empty for the future as I am. They are divided among those who want to travel and leave all behind, and those who wish to leave but even broken up to those in the Egyptians and want to return to their homes regardless of situations.

Most of Egyptian Gazars decided to return. As I said, life in Egypt was not easy, given to lack permits to stay, prevent it from relief, and for financial reasons. Whatever money people who wrapped nearly finished. Some people moved to lands such as Australia, Canada, and others around the world, and they wish to return. Gaza can be small but the Gaza is enough.

War has jumped all our lives – both symbolic and our view of the future, and our desire to live. Now, we’re all in the survival mode, can be in Gaza or out. We strive equally and try to rebuild our lives, all frustrated and have to know what is right and wrong with the next category in our lives. We all feel taught, we can find a way out of the spoil of thoughts that eat eating about our future and the lives of our children.

Thought that I don’t bring my heart back. I never thought I would ever leave my country. Memories, shine and painful keep light on my eyes, and I can’t help but cry. Even if I returned, it wouldn’t be the same. War ecospers were lasting, lasting Memorial for the life lost. The real war starts now. And everyone I don’t know what to do with their lives. Not knowing what decision is appropriate. All we think is right and wrong. We are lost at sea of ​​doubt, despair and uncertainty.

So I will keep this horrible promise, I can’t come back now, or a few years next, but I’m sure I’ll get back one day.