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Give Your Social Life a Decent Workout

Next year will change when people all over the world finally realize that their health is not only physical and mental, but also social. Social life is about relationships; the importance of your overall health and well-being comes from connections with family, friends, co-workers, and community.

The focus on social health has accelerated in recent years. In particular, the Covid-19 pandemic brought attention to our social lives and their decline. According to a Meta-Gallup poll, 24 percent of people worldwide feel lonely. The Belonging Barometer survey conducted by the American Immigration Council also found that 74 percent of Americans do not feel connected to their local community.

That feeling is related to changed behavior: today, people spend an average of 24 more hours alone and 20 fewer hours with friends each month compared to twenty years ago; involvement in community groups, membership of local clubs, and membership of religious organizations has declined; and the percentage of single-person households has more than doubled since 1960. Another study found a dramatic decline in the number of close friends older adults have: in 1990, only three percent of Americans had no close friends; today that number is more than 12 percent.

This problem has inspired efforts such as the US Surgeon General raising loneliness as a public health priority, and the World Health Organization establishing a global commission focused on human communication.

Most people, however, still underestimate how important relationships are to their long-term health. In fact, social health is linked to a 50 percent increase in longevity, making it as important to our lives as avoiding smoking, fighting obesity, and exercising regularly. We urgently need to prioritize and invest in public health. Here is the way.

Make Well-Being a Top Priority

To be physically healthy, nourish your body by aiming to walk 10,000 steps a day or sleep eight hours a night, for example. To have a healthy mind, you can meditate every day or go to therapy every week. Being healthy in society requires a common and consistent purpose. Try the 5-3-1 Guideline: aim to interact with five different people each week, maintain three close relationships, and spend one hour a day connecting, preferably face-to-face. Just as we all need to eat a different number of calories, these numbers may be higher or lower than what you thrive on; use them as a starting point to explore what social life looks like for you.

Start Small

Simple actions can make a meaningful difference in your social life. For example, research has shown that people tend to underestimate how much a kind message by text or email will be appreciated, and even short phone calls a few times a week can modestly reduce feelings of loneliness. So try looking to connect first: instead of scrolling through news headlines while waiting in line or putting on a podcast while walking, text a friend a photo or call a family member to chat. Unlike taking care of your physical and mental health, taking care of your social health also directly benefits the people you interact with.

Think Big

On the heels of the growth of the mental health industry, the next frontier of health in our economy will focus on public health. Entrepreneurs and investors are already stepping in, with innovations like public gyms, personal trainers, and AI companions on the rise. But no matter your profession, you have opportunities to shape a socially healthy future. For example, teachers can teach relationship skills in the classroom; doctors can check for isolation during appointments; architects can incorporate gathering spaces into their designs; city ​​officials can support local community builders; and employers can create connected workplace cultures.

Stretch Your Social Muscles

Depending on your stage of life and circumstances—such as moving to a new city and needing to build a community in your new home, or working remotely and wanting to communicate face-to-face, for example—you may need to stretch. your social muscles to expand your social network. But how? Research shows that friendships grow from regular contact and shared experiences: that the more time you spend with someone, the closer you become. One study, for example, tracked students’ social networks for a year and a half as they moved from high school to university, finding that new friendships fizzled out unless they regularly communicated and did activities together. Similarly, another study revealed that, for an adult who has just moved to a new city, it takes at least 50 hours to turn an acquaintance into a friend; the more time we spend together, the closer the friendship becomes.

Focus on Existing Relationships

Stretching is about increasing the amount of communication in your life; toning is about improving the quality of communication. Doing so requires curiosity and vulnerability. In further analysis, the researchers concluded that people like you more when you confide in them—and you like the people you confide in more. Choose the right context: revealing personal information is viewed positively by people you already know and new acquaintances in personal conversations, but not by strangers in public settings. Go deeper and wider: sharing something intimate leads to more likes than sharing more information. A survey of more than 4,600 people in the US, India, and Japan showed that people in all cultures find interactions more meaningful when they go beyond small talk to provide benefits through emotional connection, information exchange, or practical assistance.


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