Dear We are teachers,
One of my 8th graders intends to make the class a nightmare for me. You answer “Why?” to everything I say, from “Get out the sheet” to “Push up in your seats.” You know it gets under my skin and it’s wasting class time, but it goes on anyway. I contacted home, and his mother said to me, “It sounds like you have a problem with my son for wanting to know.” I almost tore my hair out. What do you do when a student doesn’t break the rules but is really annoying?
– Made by Argument
Hello DWTD,
8th grader? It’s impossible. All the 8th graders I know have been compliant and fun!
Haha.
All jokes aside, I agree that this can sound overwhelming and frustrating. I don’t think you’ll like my suggestion, but hear me out: Even if this is the most annoying student in the world, you have to make this student believe that you love him.
Think about your life for a moment. Think of a manager, coach, teacher, or someone in a position you’re sure doesn’t like you. (Yuck.) Now, imagine someone in a position of authority who you know loved you, but who had to remind you of the boundaries from time to time. You know you’ve pissed them off, but they always come back to the place of love.
Big difference, right?
I say from experience that if you are not careful it is easy to let a relationship with a strong student reach the point of contempt or mutual hatred. This happened years ago with a student teacher. My third grade class was very difficult, and it got to the point where everyone in the room knew this was our least favorite class. So my student teacher and I did an experiment: Treat this class as our favorite class.
We were proud of them. We brought them candy. Instead of quickly cutting down on their antics, we gave them room to wiggle a little more than usual and actually engage with their humor. In less than a week, we were amazed at the change. They were still our squirreliest class, but they were the ones we loved instead of hating.
I have no doubt that this child is crazy. But you have to remember that you are an adult here. You are the one with the developed frontal cortex. You’re the one who has the ability to give a clean slate, find some private time, and say, “Hey, I remember you saying you love me.” The office. Who is your favorite character?” My guess? After a while you pretend you really like this student, you won’t have to pretend anymore.
Dear We are teachers,
My 6th graders’ behaviors are out of control this year. For example, I had a student tell another student that he would pay someone to discipline him if he didn’t bring him the chips he promised. One student almost punched me in the face after I picked up a bouncing ball after being warned several times. I have used all the tools in my proverbial teacher’s “toolbox”, but at the moment I am tired and thinking of leaving this job. My principal’s only solution is to give these challenging students ISS for a day or two, but when they come back they are left behind. again behavior has not improved. Do you have any suggestions?
— A Very Tired Pastor
Dear AVTT,
I see what you’re saying. On the other hand, ISS is more than what I feel most principals are willing to give to children who act. But on the other hand, it does not restore or repair.
All I hear are threats of violence and violence against you and your students. (Besides, it doesn’t matter whether that student was “joking” with another student or not—the intent doesn’t matter when the other student has to deal with that level of emotional impact.) If I were the parent of a school child being bullied, I can’t tell you how quickly I would file a Title 9 complaint.
I think a couple of things have to happen. First: Talk to your principal about the need for your students to understand the direct and serious consequences for students if they threaten you or another student with physical and sexual violence. Maybe your principal wants to make the speech himself. Maybe you want to bring in a counselor or an SRO, I don’t know. But whatever the students are told, the same communication needs to go to the parents as well. “If you/your child make this choice, expect this result.”
The second thing that needs to happen is better mental health services for students in your school. I know very well that this is a long question. But if you have these resources and they can be used, they should be used. Check with a counselor or district counseling service to see how you can help your students learn better neural pathway responses to violence.
Finally, if after these steps, you still feel insecure, I think you can change schools or jobs. No job is worth that level of fatigue and stress.
Dear We are teachers,
I took a job this year in a new role created by my school as a writing teacher. I teach every 11th and 12th grade student at our school, and our time together is dedicated to focusing on writing. Although I love my job, I really struggle with grading! With 200 students and five writing assignments a week, I easily spend about eight hours a weekend trying to keep my head above water, and even then I rarely get it all done. I love my job but this is too much. Help!
– Paper Princess
Dear PP,
Oh, I love being a fairy godmother! Are you ready for me to grant you your first wish?
You don’t need to grade every assignment!
Or maybe you’d like to look at it this way: You don’t have to measure every part of every assignment!
Yes! Now that we have that guilt off your shoulders, here are some shifts you can make in planning:
- For ongoing assignments, create an answer checklist and assign each comment a corresponding number. Instead of typing or writing long comments, you can write “1” or “9” in the margin wherever you see room for improvement.
- For anything that isn’t a test grade, ask students to go through detailed peer editing based on your rubric. This will reduce what you have to enter and will sharpen students’ planning skills.
- Remember: Writing assignments can be short! In many cases, a simple phase may be sufficient to test efficiency.
We hope these will help make feedback quick and easy for you while keeping it authentic and meaningful to your readers.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at [email protected].
Dear We are teachers,
I am in my second year teaching high school and about to retire. The dread I have knowing that every time I enter assignment grades, send out a newsletter, or make a new announcement in Google Classroom, I will be met with at least five parent emails is overwhelming. They want exceptions, explanations, extra help, and special assignments. I understand that this is part of my job, but with parents pushing on this scale, there is nothing I can do. Is there some kind of restriction I can set, or should I just change schools?
– Go ahead
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