Help! A Parent Insists That They Have a Right to Complete Their Child’s Homework

Dear We are teachers,

Well, I can’t believe I’m asking this, but I am. When I saw a student’s reading and writing skills improve dramatically overnight, I asked the student, “Did an adult help us with this?” Without skipping a beat, he said, “Oh, my mother just didn’t help me.” He did it for me.” When I called home and asked about it, my mother casually confirmed. After a long silence, I said that homework is meant for students to complete. He said they didn’t have time that night and “he has the right to help my child with his homework for whatever I want.” Good. Since I didn’t know what to say, I suggested that we meet in person, so we had a meeting scheduled for next week. What should I do about this?

—Am I On A Different Planet?

Hello AIOADP,

This is 100% a problem that you need to report to your administrator. Your school leader needs to know and deal with it as it affects other classes. It is true that as teachers we have to have difficult conversations from time to time. But it is beyond our pay grade to answer “Why is it unethical and wrong for my child to be graded on my work—that of an adult?” I don’t know about you, but I don’t touch that nonsense on a salary under $150K.

However, I would recommend that you review your grading percentages. You want most of the student’s work to be things you can only make sure they do. In other words, in the classroom, and without using AI. That way, even if mom starts to finish a science project, it’s only 3% of the grade instead of 20%.

Dear We are teachers,

One of my high school students (age 14) recently told me that she spends weeks alone when her parents are away. Sometimes it’s for business, sometimes it’s to travel or take care of family in another country. I feel so sorry for him. Fourteen seems too young for this to be normal. Should I report this to someone at school? Try talking to his parents? I don’t want to make things worse, but I can’t stop worrying about him.

– Failure to Take Care of My Business

Dear FTMMOB,

Your concern for your student is valid. Lack of timely supervision, even for a mature and responsible child, can be dangerous and cause emotional neglect. You can check the legal age that children are allowed to live alone at home, listed by the district. But be careful how you approach this.

The first thing I would do is talk to your student again to make sure you understand the story. Do they have adults nearby who check in? Do they have security systems? Have their parents made emergency plans with them? If you are quick to report this to Child Protective Services and it turns out that you are occasionally alone at night, or that you have only been home alone for long periods of time (rather than usual), you can make a valuable family member. damage that is difficult to repair.

No matter what the student tells you, your next stop should be the counselor’s office. The laws regarding child neglect vary from state to state, and you’ll want to be absolutely certain about whether or not this is a mandatory reporting period.

Dear We are teachers,

I’m a first year 4th grade teacher, and my evaluator is really rude. My students rock our regular tests and benchmarks, but he criticizes me for weird things. I had to fight with him to keep my 10 minutes of silent reading every day. Whenever my students play a game or do a fun activity, you ask me why I chose that over a more difficult activity. And when my class spent an extra five minutes at recess, they sent an email with such a serious tone that you’d think I’d been caught delivering drugs. I don’t feel like I have the teaching chops to call him. But in the meantime, what’s your advice for managing a happy sucker?

-UGH

Hello U.,

Of course! I understand your supervisor’s lack of awareness since you are the new teacher in the building. But they usually stop when they see that you are doing well. And it sounds like you are doing more than OK!

I think you are smart if you wait to call him. My advice? Let your teaching speak for itself. As long as he doesn’t give you bad reviews, expect some weird ideas and a little management this year. At the end of the year, you will have data on whether your approach is working. Data you can use to say, “Thanks for that advice. I can show you the research that supports it [x]? That’s why I choose to do it [y]and that’s part of what got me such good results last year.”

(I’m not going to lie, I’m having a lot of fun imagining her face getting this sane, rational response from you.)

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Dear We are teachers,

I have been teaching at the same large school for five years, and almost every day I am confused by a student. Despite the fact that I wear my ID in the yard every day, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked for my pass in the hall when I’m in the hallway, I’ve been told to leave the faculty lounge because it’s only for teachers, or the school’s SRO has kicked me out in the morning in my car. It was funny for the first year or so, but now it just gives me confidence. What can I do to stop messing with teenagers?

-Thirty-One Continues Thirteen