Dear We are teachers,
I have been teaching at the same large school for five years, and almost every day I am confused by a student. Despite the fact that I wear my ID in the yard every day, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked for my pass in the hall when I’m in the hallway, I’ve been told to leave the faculty lounge because it’s only for teachers, or the school’s SRO has kicked me out in the morning in my car. It was funny for the first year or so, but now it just gives me confidence. What can I do to stop messing with teenagers?
-Thirty-One Continues Thirteen
Dear TGOT,
Well, bummer. I’m sorry this is happening.
To be clear, this is not your fault. I had a friend with this issue, and the advice from my fellow teachers jumped to “Maybe stop wearing your hair like the kids do,” or “Try to dress more formal.” I won’t suggest that. A lot of teachers wear jeans and have fashionable hair. No one is telling them to make drastic changes to their hair or wardrobe.
I have one suggestion that might help: a blazer. You can throw it on in the hallway, it goes with everything, and very few high school students in the US wear it.
Otherwise, I think your best bet is to ask your principal if you can do an all-faculty email blast or take one minute of the next student meeting. Keep it simple, but explain that making a mistake as a student can be a surprise, especially if you’re being scolded. Ask the teachers to make a rhythm before demanding to see your hall pass or accusing you of skipping. If you’re feeling free, you can even include “high school student or Ms. Hopkins?” slide series of how you can tell the difference! Humor can go a long way in connecting with your fellow faculty and staff.
Dear We are teachers,
I teach 4th grade and I am confident that a parent does their child’s job. Any homework or take-home projects completed above the student’s skill level. I haven’t talked to parents yet, but I have set up a meeting to talk about the importance of grades being an accurate indicator of student abilities. Any tips on what I should say or how I should do it?
-Caught with the Red Pen
Dear CYRPH,
Bless the parents who think we can’t separate their writing skills from their child’s.
I would actually cancel that meeting (is there a better feeling?). Here is the reason.
I agree that grades should be an accurate reflection of a student’s abilities. That’s one of the few reasons I didn’t send much home as a teacher (especially outside of reading assignments). I would recommend that anything taken home, let’s say projects, be no more than 10% of the student’s grade. Take home class work for grades, um, “editor.”
Now, if after this change a parent gets angry because they don’t get a chance to “check” their child’s work before opening it, that’s the time you can bring your administrator in to have a smart conversation about who the work belongs to. to.
Dear We are teachers,
We recently had a “Dress Like a Teacher” day at the middle school where I teach. Not one but two of my students come to school with “enhancements” on their clothes to show off the size of my large body. I pretended to be okay with it at the time, but it really hurt my feelings. I am not confident about the changes that have happened to my body in the last few years. Do I have to log in as an admin? Did I talk to the students? Email their parents?
– My Body, Punchline
Hello MBTP,
Yes. Making a mental note now to add this to our “Theme Days to Avoid” article. I hate that a school-sanctioned activity made you feel self-conscious about your body.
I could be wrong, but it doesn’t sound like these students intended to cause harm. Maybe more of a “I don’t have a frontal cortex yet”. I think pretending to accept it—even if it stung at the time—was the right move. You probably had students in large bodies watching your reaction. If you can fly off the handle and punish students for looking like you, you may be indirectly communicating that there is shame in being big.
But I also think it’s a good move to talk to an administrator you trust to explain your experience. Explain that although you understand that this day was fun for the students, it was not fun for you. Hopefully, your school can find the best exchange you can for spirit week next year. If they don’t, you have my permission to wake up sick that day.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at [email protected].
Dear We are teachers,
One of my 8th graders intends to make the class a nightmare for me. You answer “Why?” to everything I say, from “Get out the sheet” to “Push up in your seats.” You know it gets under my skin and it’s wasting class time, but it goes on anyway. I contacted home, and his mother said to me, “It sounds like you have a problem with my son for wanting to know.” I almost tore my hair out. What do you do when a student doesn’t break the rules but is really annoying?
– Made with Defiance
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