To address that, several startups have launched niche dating apps—some confusing, others completely predictable—designed to satisfy unique needs, many of which are built around the promise of AI. Volar, created by a former product director at Snap, uses a chatbot to message back and forth with potential candidates. There’s also Rizz, Iris, and Elate, all of which use AI to find your soulmate by helping users manage first impressions and awkward conversations. For singles who are interested in other, let’s say, avant-garde forms of friendship, which completely remove people from the equation, there are applications like EVA AI and Luna, who act as your AI girlfriend.
It’s too early to tell how effective any of these AI-powered apps are at reducing ghosting, but a recent report from Hopelab found that 40 percent of young people rely on chatbots for ongoing conversations. The future of dating, the report concludes, promises to be more conversational, and anonymous, than ever before.
Nevertheless, right-swiping fatigue remains a major concern among individuals of all demographics. In dating environments, app fatigue is contagious. No one knows that better than JB, the power dater from New York I spoke to in September. At the time, she was 200 days post-breakup—mostly from Hinge and Raya—and expressed a sense of burnout, as she couldn’t fully remove herself from the addictive pleasure of the app.
I heard about JB in December. You reached out to let me know that you somehow forgot to share the “very consistent” dating story in our first interview series. “I can’t believe I just thought of it,” he wrote via text message. “The girl we’re dating for the third time says, ‘If you kiss me well tonight, I’ll cancel my other dates this week.’
Is he? I shot back.
“I was angry. I almost finished the day,” he said. “He was winning until he hit me with that poisonous sheet.”
JB told me that he is still tired of the apps but he still has them a lot. The week we are talking, she recently broke up. A recent affair in Philadelphia, he said, happened after a woman lied about talking to other people. He made the first move to Raya and later they established many bond trading DMs on Instagram. He was chasing her, which was a rarity and a refreshing change of pace. He says: “I was beaten. Which made it even more difficult when the relationship ended. “He wanted me, lied about it?”
JB is currently in the air, or what I describe as a season of “side questions”—sitting his neighbor’s cat, surfing TikTok, trying new restaurants. “I was sad but we went back,” he told me. He wonders if dating apps will ever be a solution for single people like him. “It’s really rotten out here.”
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